Look at your life as it is today and as it will be in the months, years and decades to come. How do you feel? Life is a breath-taking opportunity, and coaching can help you grasp it fully.

About Life Coaching

Life Coaching is quite new - emerging in the 1990s in America. Life has never been more complicated, and we all want more from our lives. You pay your coach to help you move towards a better life. Exactly what that means is up to you. You may come to me with very specific ideas about what you want to change, or you may bring along a vague, woolly feeling that life should be better. That is where the special tools and exercises come in, which will help you to assess the various facets of your life. When you have your focus, the real work begins. I will work with you to clarify the situation and your goals. Usually, you'll pick a single major goal and work on that. Together, we can then refine your goal, and make a detailed plan to move you closer to that goal. Each week you will agree an action plan, and between sessions, you will complete the action plan. Inevitably, problems will arise and be addressed, which is why it is more effective to see a real therapist, than use a self-help book. My experience, training and external perspective on your life are an extremely valuable asset to you - this is the magic of life coaching. It is often easier to see things clearly from the outside, when you are not emotionally involved. I can help you to untangle your confusion, boost your confidence, build your motivation and your stamina, and keep you actively focused on meeting your goals. So that together we can find a way through to success.

How can you change your life today?

The simple answer to that is by taking full responsibility for it, they say "life is what you make it", but most of us feel like we are just stumbling along, or victims of our lives, rather than the architects of them. Accepting responsibility for our own lives is a very difficult, but absolutely essential first step in learning to take control of it. Uncontrollable events obviously can sweep us away now and then, and of course the final event will sweep us all away at some point. But between now and then, most of what happens in our lives - our careers, our progress towards our dreams, our relationships, our health, our happiness, our spiritual growth - are all down to us. In theory we know all that stuff , yet that isn't the way our real lives are unfolding for us. We may be in the wrong job, or the wrong career. We may live in a house we hate, in a city we hate, in a country with the wrong climate. We may drive the wrong car, live with the wrong partner, and in the wrong shaped body... AND IT'S REALLY FRUSTRATING! The fact is that most of us exert poor control over the events in our lives. We complain, but we don't seem able to grab the wheel and steer ourselves in new directions. As we grow older, we see the dreams fade. Some of us will smile as we look back at the simple optimism and ideals of our youth, while others will be filled with regrets. The fact is that society doesn't train us for the practicalities of being successful (however we define that term). We're taught that thinking of our own wants is selfish. We shoulder big jobs and family responsibilities which could well keep us tied up for a few decades. Somewhere along that road we can lose ourselves and become swept up in the rat-race - the mortgage, the job, the possessions - and it's tough to re-assert control. Well, the good news is - all of this is exactly what Life Coaching is here to help you with.

Why don't we change our unhappy lives?

Basically because making things better is challenging work, and involves us looking at our lives honestly and objectively, letting go of blame, and old negative habits that have given us a false sense of security. Of course, that's why we tend not to do it, because it is hard work, and involves us stepping out of our comfort zone, and it's why coaches are such a valuable help. A coach can show you the way, but you have to decide whether to take that route, or carry on doing and thinking the same things.

Sceptical about Life Coaching?

Coaching isn't miraculous in the sense that it makes the realities of the world go away. But often our beliefs about the realities of the world are not accurate, and are preventing us from moving forward. Once we understand this, we're free to work in new, powerful ways. Coaching is miraculous in the sense that it works so well on longstanding problems which have seemed immovable. Many of us don't like to think too deeply about our existence, and we don't like to admit we have areas we'd like to change. Also we're not always comfortable going to a stranger to bare our souls and accept help. Fortunately, all that is changing, and we're realising that we all have these areas for improvement, and that seeking those improvements is not a sign of weakness, but of strength! If we only have one life, why not make the most of it?

Frequently asked questions about Life Coaching

• What Is Life Coaching?
  It is a CBT - a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - a talking therapy, aimed at helping people gain more satisfaction out of life, and increasing happiness.
• Who is Life Coaching for?
  You! It's for anyone who wants to improve some aspect of their life. If you want a new job, or career, or promotion maybe. Or you might want to write your novel, or find your perfect partner, or find new self confidence, or get rid of a destructive habit. Maybe you need to create a new work/life balance, or you might just be unhappy without knowing why. Whatever you want to change, coaching can probably help, with just a couple of notable exceptions. If you have a mental illness or a hard drug problem, then coaching is not the best option for you.
• How does Life Coaching Work?
  Through conversation clients are helped to find new understanding of why they find themselves in their current situation, and ways in which they can improve this. Life coaching is mainly focussed on the present and the future, though some issues may require some exploration of the past in order to find the root causes of any unhelpful thinking patterns. There is nothing mystical about life coaching, it is primarily cognitive - in that it's main tool is your own thinking mind. But it is also informed by the unconscious and emotional components of the human psyche. Sessions usually happen weekly, but they can run less frequently. Clients may have just one session, or they may work with their life coach for many months. Every case is unique however, but commonly anywhere between 5 and 8 sessions should be sufficient.
  • The sessions are relaxed, friendly, fun, and positive experiences
  • The sessions are completely confidential
  • Clients remain in charge at all times - you can set any boundaries you need
  • I do not tell clients what to do, my role is to support and guide.
  • As a Life Coach I use different techniques such as active listening, and asking careful questions, coaches assist clients to better understand the issues in their lives, and to find the answers they need.
  Many coaches, including me, also use a branch of psychology called NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). This provides a range of tools to help clients change their behaviour and the underlying thinking which drives it.
• Why can't I get the same support from friends?
  Whilst a good friend is invaluable, some reasons why a coach can be better are:
  • I have specific skills in listening, questioning techniques, motivation, communication, knowledge of human psychology, and other therapies that may benefit you. All of these will be focussed on freeing you to become what you want to be. Your friends are unlikely to be qualified in these ways.
  • You will be paying me to work for you over the weeks and months of the coaching relationship. There are no hidden agendas; I am not going to lose patience, become bored or be too busy to see you.
  • Friends may be reluctant to tell you straight, because they fear that the truth may damage your relationship. They're more likely to tell you what you want to hear. As your Life Coach I aim to maintain a first class relationship with you too, but I am paid to help you, and will tell it like it is when I need to.
  • Some of those around you may be part of the reason you want to change. We all fear change - in ourselves - but also in others. How often do you notice friends offering you fatty foods when you're on a diet? Without even realising it, those around us can undermine our determination to make positive changes in our lives.
  • Our friends often come from the same background and areas as us. They may have accepted their lot in life, and may see change as impossible. They may even see ambitions as arrogant and unreasonable. Their negativity and scepticism about your potential for personal growth - or the way the world is - may be a big problem which your coach can help you with.
  • There may be some things you can't say to friends, because they're very private - or because your friends are part of what you want to change. A Life Coach is professional and detached, and your work with them is confidential. You can be completely honest.
• Why can't I just read a good coaching book?
  You can, and you should! But a book can never do what a coach can do. A coach is there when the untidy business of theory meeting practice happens. A coach will get to know you and understand why you fail and how you can succeed. They will develop a relationship with you from which you can draw confidence, energy, and motivation. The regular appointments will motivate you to "do your homework" - this is where the real life-changing happens. It doesn't happen between the pages of a book - you have to go out into the world and tinker with it!
• How does Life Coaching differ from counselling or therapy?
  Life Coaching is not about deep self-analysis or regressing to childhood events. It is forward-looking - focused in the present and the future. It is practical and down-to-earth, looking at concrete ways to make real progress in the world in the areas listed above.
• Are there any problems which Life Coaching is not appropriate for?
  Yes. Life Coaching is not appropriate for helping serious medical conditions, drug addiction, or mental illness. I am not an expert in finance, business management, or law. However i may be able to help you in these areas, not by giving professional advice in them, but by helping you to find the professional help you need.
• How many sessions will I need?
  Clearly I can't guarantee how long it will take in your particular case, but the average is anywhere between 4 and 8 sessions. By that time, we have usually explored the problem, defined clear, believable, exciting new goals, designed realistic strategies to reach those goals, and started out down the path. We will also have explored the fears, hidden beliefs and the other things which trap people into unsatisfying lives.
• How and where can I book?
  I have consultation rooms in Wymondham and Hethersett, Norwich, (maps here) though I can also offer coaching by phone/internet, in which case distance is not a problem. For latest rates, please click here. To make a booking, please click here.